like shooting stars

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A really nice song that I wanna share :)

It's been one and a half years since I have stepped into the nursing profession. I could still remember the feelings then when I decided to choose nursing as my first choice during the application process. I was filled with passion then, with thoughts of hoping to help the sick. With this mentality, I started my life as a student nurse and later on, a registered nurse.

Nursing has opened my eyes to many different perspectives towards people, situations and relationships. It has allowed me to touch the lives of my patients and to feel for some of them. I'm glad and really appreciated the different people that I met along the way. They brought me laughters and tears. To the people whom I really cherished, thank you for the wonderful memories that you have created in my life.

However, I would not deny the fact that nursing is not a bed of roses. I fell, I cried, I hurt myself along the way and I learnt from everyday's experiences. I'm tired from the never ending workload, the rush, the stress and the long hours. Sometimes I wonder why have I chose to put myself in this position, dragging my tired feet home after every shift, tired to go out even on rest days. Thats when thoughts of giving up starts crawling into my mind. I'm afraid that I'll lose the feeling that I used to have when I first chose nursing. Everything would become meaningless then.

I don't want to become a grumpy person that I find myself eventually becoming. The MO in my ward always said this to me whenever he sees me almost everyday: "Something is wrong man. If you smile, its bu zheng chang (aka abnormal), if u don't smile then its zheng chang (aka normal) so wads wrong again today haha". Sigh. I wonder is this really the kind of person I want to become at the end of the day. Maybe I need some time to think about myself and my future.

The year is coming to a closure in 3 days time. I did not have too many regrets compared to yesteryear. As I have mentioned, I am happy to have met some people this year who has made a difference in my life which I will never forget. :) I would not think of new year resolutions this time cus it doesn't seems to hold true anyway. Maybe I'm just too negative haha. I'll rather let nature takes it course and see what happens in the coming year.